Fatal Attraction

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Interpersonal Relationship Principle Of Fatal Attraction Defined Beatriz David Psychology Of Interpersonal Behavior- Section 3110 Professor Dana Donohue December 4, 2009 Abstract One of the reasons that so many marriages today end up in divorce today has to do with the interpersonal personal relationship principle known as fatal attraction. When most people think of fatal attraction, they right away think of the popular definition represented in the movie “Fatal Attraction”. This paper will define the principle of fatal attraction from an interpersonal relationship perspective. Along with a definition of fatal attraction, I will explore some of the causes of fatal attraction. I will discuss my experiences with fatal attractions. Peer reviewed articles together with my own personal experiences will be used to further expound on the definition of fatal attraction. I have illustrated the effect that fatal attraction has had on my own interpersonal relationship. I will also show how in a relationship other principles of interpersonal relationships are influenced by fatal attraction. This paper will also provide an example of how a fatal attraction can take an emotional and psychological toll not on a relationship but also in an individual. Interpersonal Relationship Principle Of Fatal Attraction Defined From a psychological and sociological perspective, the term fatal attraction means something quite different than its’ pop culture definition. The psychological and sociological definition is when a quality that an individual comes to dislike in a partner is an exaggerated version of the same quality that was initially attractive. A fatal attraction occurs when an intimate partner is seen as having too much of an attractive quality. Fatal attractions are a common occurrence in intimate relationships. It is also a common cause of disenchantment in many relationships. In my 15-year marriage, both my ex-husband and myself had the misfortune of experiencing a fatal attraction. Upon first meeting my ex-husband, I could not help being attracted to his assertiveness. It wasn’t long after we were married that this quality that I was so attracted to morphed into stifling control. As for him, I think he liked my being naive and somewhat needy, then disliked and even ended up resenting me for being unsophisticated and being too dependent on him. “Because of the problems differences pose for couples, romantic attractions to differences in a partner are expected to be particularly susceptible to fatal attrac-tions. An attraction to another can be “different” in two ways: (1) different from self (i. e. , dissimilarity) or (2) different from average (i. e. , unusual or extreme)” (Felmlee, 2001, p. 266). I found this to be a factor in my fatal attraction experience. The assertiveness that I was so attracted to in my ex-husband, I now see stemmed from my own low self-esteem and low self-regard. I found myself being so comforted by his having a plan for his life. As for him, I think that he too had some self-esteem issues. For a while, my interdependency on him allowed him to feel needed. That same high regard I had for him also bolstered his self-esteem.

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