Running head: CHILDREN’S ETIQUETTE Children’s Etiquette Outline University Of Phoenix July 4, 2006 Children’s Etiquette Today we consistently talk about yesterday and how the generations are very different currently compared to the 1960’s, 1970’s, and the 1980’s. We are always wondering why when we were taught to exercise good manners why do not the children of today do the same. We look at the comparisons of the Ancient Egyptians, where they were taught to use their hands to eat.
We consistently see many children acting completely rude. They may not even realize that they are being rude, because of what they have been taught. There is a tremendous increase in the number of parents enrolling their children in etiquette classes, which teach social skills and common courtesy. Psychologist John Gottman states “children who learn socially appropriate ways to solve problems and handle life’s upsets are physically healthier and more attentive, have more empathy and more friends, and perform better in school. ”
Today’s youths ignore traditional values and embrace their own dangerously misguided codes of ethics. In 1941, Margaret Mead stated that children are victims and are facing a “moral dilemma” when entering school because they realized that their parents’ way of doing things is different. She urged teachers to help students behave by their own standards without questioning whether the children have developed their own standards of conscience yet. Jean Jacques Rousseau later stated that human beings are essentially good but are corrupted by property, agricultural, science, and commerce.
In modern times, manners have eroded. Parents are emphasizing academic skills over social skills. Everyone who is in contact with children has a responsibility to teach manners, although parents are the most important teachers. Teaching manners must start early as children as young as nine might never be able to learn good manners. Parents must set a good example for their children and surround themselves with people who have similar values. All three articles where from different states.
The first one was from a teacher in Canton, Ohio; the second from the University of Florida News and the third was from the Philadelphia Inquirer. The first article discussed the lack of manners from today’s young generation. How proper etiquette is viewed by the youth of today as something old school and only the old people use. At the same time, every adult is complaining about the lack of respect they receive from the younger generation. The article also discusses how many adults expect respect from children with out looking at why adults are not getting the respect.
How can we expect respect and good manners from our children if we have not been there to teach them? When both parents work, teaching manners is then left to whoever is taking care of the children such as daycare providers or teachers at school. The second article discussed a new program to help the youth of today be respectful and be ready to enter the working world. The article stated that since children are spending so much time at daycares and schools if some social graces are taught children will be ready to face the working world.
Some corporations are spending money to help young executives learn etiquette. It also discussed the issue of who is to blame for the young no knowing basic etiquette. Organizers of the 4-H youth educators from the University of Florida blame modern America “the maniac pace of modern America society has left many young people with no knowledge of etiquette and, frequently, no where to learn it. ” On the third, article the writer interviewed adults and young people on the topic on how adults should be address by young people.
In this article, it seems that young people do know how to address adults, but it seems that adults send mixed messages to the younger generation, by allowing them to use first names at any given time. I remember when I was growing up adults where called by Mr. or Mrs. no matter if it was a close family friend. The article ends by stating that young people know about titles and honorifics, and how they may or may not use them because they just do not know when and how to use them. The articles, which were researched, are based on Children’s Etiquette in today’s society.
Adults and parents are having difficulty teaching manners to the youth of today. In an article written by Murray Dubin he spoke of the growing informality children have addressing their elders. The formality and casualness with addressing adults on a first named basis comes form the loss of courtesies and respect that has not been passed down from our generation today to our children of today. As writer, Lucie Prinz stated in her article (Say something they are only children) she quotes an old African saying, “It takes a village to raise a child. Our sense of community, responsibility, and our family values had declined in the past 40 to 50 years. Adults of today are afraid of repercussions of others, afraid that we may be stepping out of line with others that are not our own. However, if we not properly teach our youth to behave in public without resorting to threats and or fear of how other may perceive us, we as adults will lose all respect and a sense of community spirit, we once were raised with. When we decide enough is enough and we need to re-teach our children to develop their proper etiquette we have to determine which tools are useful and which tools are harmful.
This article explains a different approach to determine the usefulness of the specific tools. The analogies are the “hammer, pliers, screwdriver, and lastly the brain. ” Each tool represents its own skill and method of use with exacting outcomes. These will help any parent to stop and think before acting upon the urge to bring out the “hammer” to correct the behavior of the child and realize the child would be much more productive if they learn to use the brain. The hammer can force whatever it is we want to drive in but it will cause damage to the object it contacts.
If the parent chooses the screwdriver, they can now control the action and make fine adjustments but it too can be used to puncture or deflate causing possibly more damage. However, if the parent tries to use the brain it will enlighten and build self-discipline. It just goes to show that if we do not instill the proper morals in our children along with the right teachings that the next generation will lose the importance of right or wrong, and proper and improper teachings of etiquette. References Mind Your Manners (childrens’manners in Ancient Egypt).
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